But while the cover of the New Yorker boasts of “The Roseanne Eruption”, all the talk of catastrophe, complete with long-time staff-writers fleeing the lower slopes (Jamaica Kincaid among them), turns out to be a false alarm. For many readers, Roseanne was the bale that broke the camel’s back. Many people took the view that Roseanne would not quite do as a reincarnation of Dorothy Parker, being around 120 pounds too heavy and a good deal too famous in trailer parks. What might the New Yorker learn from The Girlie Show? This is not a question, I imagine, that troubles those working on either the magazine or the programme, but those of us caught in the middle may be entitled to raise it. It comes to mind now because the New Yorker has just produced its “Women’s Issue”, an edition for which Roseanne was hired as consultant. According to Mr Bergreen, this was “a deadly gaze designed to strike fear into the hearts of enemies. Done right, this Rasputin-like, mesmerising gaze could be more effective than a blow to the chin.

Young hoods practiced in their mirrors, often for hours, until they got it right.” While far from suggesting any resemblance between Mr Prescott and Mr Capone, I do wonder if the Deputy Labour leader happened to visit Chicago at any stage of his merchant navy career. As a trainee gangster, Capone devoted much time to perfecting “the look”. Catch any on a bad day and they could crack a plate-glass window. Perhaps the master of the nasty eyeful was the late, remarkably unlovely Eric Heffer.

Among parliamentary gagsters, it was customary to wait until someone criticised Mr Heffer’s commitment, man management, diplomatic skills, etc and murmur, unfairly, “Of course, he’s not as nice as he looks…”It was Mr Prescott’s piercing stare, however, that sprang to my mind recently while reading a new biography of Al Capone by Laurence Bergreen. Among previous generations of Labour leaders, Ernie Bevin, Ray Gunter and Denis Healey spring to mind as first-class frowners. During the parliamentary debate on the Scott report last week, Mr Prescott looked positively benign.It would be a shame if the scowl has gone for good, banished by Peter Mandelstam as a vote-loser. The People’s Party has traditionally done a good line in glaring. Rather like Rembrandt.The political obverse of Mr Blair’s smile is, of course, John Prescott’s scowl. Displayed so gloriously last month during Harriet Harman’s mauvais quart d’heure at the despatch box, it has apparently been stored away, carefully wrapped in tissue paper.

Doubtless, in the meantime, he’ll be putting in more energetic brushwork. More likely, Den Mat is merely a snappy abbreviation of “Dental Materials” and the product’s curious name originated in some Stateside marketing think tank:”What about an artist? Think about it. Art= money=white teeth.”"Yeah, but which one?”"Anyone famous. Picasso?”"Paloma’s got him.”"OK, Michaelangelo then.”"Not him People won’t want to brush with Michaelangelo. Wasn’t he was a bit, er, you know…”"One of those Dutch guys then.

Vermeer.”"Sounds like ’smear’, something for the john.”"I know – Rembrandt?”Whether, in Mr Blair’s case, white teeth will finally equal power, we will have to wait and see. It is remotely possible that the owner is one Henryk den Mat and he wanted to link his fancy new molar-mulch with the old country. Its manufacturer is the Den Mat Corporation of Santa Marie, California. One contemporary noted that, “the ugly and plebian face with which he was ill-favoured was accompanied by untidy and dirty clothes.”Perhaps there is a Dutch connection with the toothpaste. There’s little about Rembrandt van Rijn (1609-1669) which brings brilliant white to mind He was a master of the murk Brown or fustian dominates in almost all his oeuvre As with his palette, so with his person. The past couple of years, something called “whitening toothpaste” (as if all previous types of dentifrice contributed nothing to that end) has become all the rage.The first whitening toothpaste to hit the UK market was an American product costing nearly eight quid a tube Its name is “Rembrandt” Quite why is not made clear.